MISSION INOPOSSIBLE IMPOSSIBLE?
by Odor
Summary: What happens when Shikamaru takes love advice from three of the most unlikely people ever......utter and total chaos! How troublesome. ONE SHOT (ShikaIno)


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of it's character. **

**A/N: I would like to dedicate this story to my baka onee-san. Thanks for breathing over my neck and giving me advice. Seriously though thanks. BEWARE readers this is a long one shot. This takes place when the characters are around 15 years old. **

* * *

**Mission Ino-possible (Impossible?)**

Shikamaru settled into his usual grassy area in the park watching the clouds go by, a blade of grass clamped in between his front teeth. Getting more comfortable by the minute he let his body sink deeper into the body groove he made in the grass. The clouds above shifted restlessly above him taking the shape of soldiers and horses. The battle was just getting exciting when suddenly a blonde head blocked his view.

He tried to block his eyes from the bright glow of the spunky blonde with his right hand. "What do you want Ino?" he murmured uninterestedly.

Shikamaru has known Ino for most of his fifteen years and he knew her so well nothing could have ever surprised him, except for what she had to say next. "You have to be my escort for the Moon festival tonight."

Caught unawares, the blade of grass he was absently gnawing on slipped into his mouth and got lodged in his throat. He shot right up and started hacking. Concerned, Ino knelt beside him with the intention of giving him a good whack on the back but her aim was a little bit….hmmm…..a **_whole lot_** off. Her faulty aim landed dead center to the back of his head. His whole body flew forward from her excessive force. Instead of one blade of grass in his mouth, now Shikamaru had a whole mouth full. Surprisingly enough that face-plant had cleared his throat. He spat out the remaining dirt and tuffs of grass from his mouth, turned to Ino and tried glaring at her. The blonde was seemingly unaffected by his glare. He placed a mental note to practice more on his glare; everyone was so used to his constant bored expression that any other emotion he showed didn't have an affect on them.

"Shikamaru, you really have to take me to the festival tonight," she repeated.

Shikamaru sighed and rolled back onto his rear-end. "With your little obsession, I would have thought that you'd ask Sasuke to go with you to the festival. So why didn't you?"

Ino let out an exasperated huff. "Don't you think I've already tried? He's so stubborn…..he won't go with me. He says that he planned on going alone…if at all. And that's where you come in. A beautiful woman," Shika mentally rolled his eyes, "can't possibly go to the festival alone so you'll escort me until Sasuke comes around. Knowing you, you wouldn't care if I left you for Sasuke."

Knowing that last part sounded a bit inconsiderate she tried to amend it. "Not that I wouldn't mind hanging out with you but…..you already know how I feel about Sasuke." She gave Shikamaru another pleading look. "Please…..I never ask you for another favor again." _Until the next time,_ she added silently.

Shikamaru looked up at the sky, weighing his options. He had planned to stay at home tonight and play Go with his dad. But then he was curious to know what Ino planned to do once she has Sasuke in her sight. Even though he tried to convince himself that he had absolutely no romantic feelings for Ino, there was still a twinge of pain in his chest at the thought that she was only using him to get closer to that damn pretty boy, Uchiha Sasuke.

"So will you go with me?" Ino watched Shikamaru expectantly.

"How troublesome."

That statement was the only answer she needed. She skipped away happily mentally planning what she was going to wear for tonight's festival. Shikamaru watched as she skipped away, still mulling over the strange hold she had over him……and his _heart_.

* * *

The velvet night sky twinkled gaily by the light of a million stars. The luminescent face of the full moon only seemed to enhance its beauty. There were colorful lanterns hanging from the tops of the stands that stretched from one end of Konoha to the other. The streets were filled with activity as people of all ages participated in the entertainments that the festival had to offer. The atmosphere was filled with an irresistible magic. There was a smile on everyone's faces except, that is, on the face of a certain teenager with a spiked pony tail. He tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his navy blue Yukata.

Shikamaru watched with an annoyed expression as Ino stood on the tip of her toes for the eleventh time that night hoping to get to get a glimpse of Sasuke. "Ino give it a rest….your not going to spot him anytime soon in a crowd this thick."

She gave the crowded one last scan and settled back onto her heels with a sigh. "I guess your right but then it doesn't hurt to look, right?"

Shikamaru tugged lightly on the sleeve of Ino's light blue kimono. "Come on Ino. Let's go get something to eat. I think I spotted Choji at the Yakatori stand over there." He pointed to a stand a few yards away from where they were standing. Ino reluctantly followed. Sure enough Choji was sitting down at the stand with an array of meats on a stick in front of him.

Choji paused in his eating when Shikamaru sat next to him. Choji gave him a questioning look. "I thought you weren't going to come tonight."

Shikamaru shrugged looking at something beyond Choji's left shoulder. "I changed my mind."

Curious, Choji looked over his shoulder to see what Shikamaru was looking at with such exasperation and ….a bit of hopelessness? Choji followed his gazed to Ino's kimono clad form standing a few feet from them. Her hair was swept up in the traditional style, the light of the moon giving it an oddly bewitching luster. Judging by the way that her neck was outstretched she seemed to be looking for something or someone.

Choji turned around again to face Shikamaru. It was hard to be best friend with Shikamaru and not know that he had developed feelings for Ino; not that Shikamaru would ever admit it out loud. Poor guy had it bad. What he didn't understand was how Ino could be partners with him for so long and still be oblivious. "Ino again, huh?"

Knowing it was useless to deny something that was probably obvious, Shikamaru nodded. "What does he have that I don't have?"

Choji already knew who **_he_** was. Who else could it be but the one and only, Uchiha "_I'm too cool_" Sasuke. Choji seriously thought hard about what made Sasuke so appealing to girls. "Black hair?" he suggested.

Shikamaru smoothed a hand over his hair. "Nope….last time I check I had black hair too."

"How about a dark and mysterious expression?" Choji added.

"Yeah I could do that…kind of like this, right?" Shikamaru tried to give Choji one of his best mysterious "I'm mad at the world" expressions but with his face all scrunched up it looked more like he was seriously constipated.

"Nah…it doesn't look right on you." Choji watched as Shikamaru slumped forward in his chair, cheek resting on his right hand.

In all the years he had known Shikamaru he had never seen such a dejected look on his face before. He'd seen Shika bored, exasperated, and annoyed but never dejected. He felt kind of helpless seeing his friend like this and not being able to do anything about it. Shikamaru had always helped him whenever he needed it, so Choji could do no less. "Shikamaru, I'm going to help you get Ino's attention."

Shikamaru raised a skeptical brow. When it came to girls he was no Casanova but then neither was Choji. "Yeah. And how are _we_ going to do that?"

"Tactics. Let's see…if there you had a lot of girls around you, then she'd have to pay attention to you right? If she saw that you had a lot of fan girls, like Sasuke does, maybe there's a slight chance that she might get jealous."

Shikamaru shrugged. If the plan didn't work then he would end up with a shattered heart but then it would be no different from how he was feeling at the moment. "It's worth a try…..what do I have to lose?"

Mouth full of barbecued pork skins Choji gave him an encouraging pat on his back. "Operation: Green-eyed monster is a **_go_**."

Shikamaru spotted Ino at the same place that she was before still busy in her search. He chose a spot that was a good distance away from her and stood there making sure that he was in her line of vision. Because it was nighttime there were a lot of shadows so he knew that his jutsu would work. He randomly picked four pretty girls that just happened to be facing his way. Quickly before they could turn away he used his shadow bind on them. The four of them instantly stiffened at the same time when his jutsu took affect. Shikamaru started to walk forward as a result, the four girls looked like they were casually walking towards him. At first they looked confused but as they got closer and closer to Shikamaru realization dawned on them. They were furious.

The one with the long brown hair to his right seemed like she was the most irritated of the four. She had barely contained fury. "I don't know what the hell you are doing, but you better let us go now!!" The other three fumed silently nodding.

"I know…I know…I'm sor…Tenten?" He took a closer look at the brown haired girl wearing the purple Chinese outfit.

"Yeah...you idiot. It took me days to convince Neji to come with me tonight and you had to go ruin it like this."

"I'm sorry but I can't let you guys go yet. Can you cooperate with me for a little bit? You see…I like Ino but all she can think about is that Sa…." _geez, I hate saying his name_ "….Sa…suke. I thought that if she saw me with my own fan girls she might get jealous and finally notice me." He clasped her hand in both of his forcing her to do the same. "Please."

"Alright…but you didn't need to put us in shadow bind for us to help you. Just release the jutsu."

"Do you promise that you won't punch me after I release you from the jutsu?" Tenten nodded. Shikamaru didn't notice that the other three hadn't agreed on anything. The instant he released them from his jutsu he was hit with a flying kick from Tenten and was instantly pummeled by three pairs of fists from above. It took them a split second before they realized that they weren't hitting Shikamaru but a stuffed bear.

"Kawarimi no jutsu!!!????" they hollered in unison.

Shikamaru watched from high up on a tree limb above them as they sent the stuffed bear flying and then went in search for their dates. He eyes bulged sweat dropped when the bear landed on his lap, stuffed head hanging by a single thread and cotton spewing from his neck. He made sure that those four were far, far away before he hopped down from the tree limb. Shikamaru landed on something decidedly bumpy. He looked down at where he landed. "Sorry. Didn't see you there Lee."

Rock Lee immediately popped up from his position on the ground and positioned himself, giving Shikamaru, his best imitation of the Gai-sensei's good guy pose. "No problem."

Rock Lee's face turned from optimistic to serious within an instant. Putting his arm around Shikamaru's shoulders he heaved a sigh. "I heard what you said to those girls earlier. I feel your pain Shikamaru. That demon boy, Uchiha, has bewitched all our women with his dark, good looks."

With determination shinning in his eyes, he pumped his fist in the air. "Yosh!!! I'm going to help you break Ino from Sasuke's evil spell. This is for you, me, and all the other guys who had their women taken away by **_that _**guy. That'll show him that he can't have everyone. Come."

Shikamaru just sighed and followed Rock lee to a secluded area near the bushes. "Whatever you're planning won't work."

"You don't know much about women do you?"

"And I suppose you do?"

"Of course. You have to trust me. Women want someone who is strong and can protect them. To get Ino to notice you as a man then you have to be a hero. You have to save her from all evil things. Alright, here's the plan…I'll disguise myself as an enemy and pretend to attack her…then you can come in and save the day."

"Me… a hero? How troublesome." Shikamaru hunched his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck. This was the most effort he had expended in a long time…..all for one girl.

"Now all we need now is a messenger to lure Ino to an isolated place."

"I think Choji is still at the Yakatori Stand. We can recruit his help." They spotted Choji at the same place that Shikamaru left him earlier and joined him.

From an outside point of view it seemed like they were just socializing but in truth they were devising the most complicated of strategies…how to get a girl. Their heads hovered close together, one spiky haired, one bowl cut, and one with an underwear-like bandanna on his head. Calm whispers could be heard from time to time from within their midst with an occasional serious nod.

"Operation: Damsel in Distress is a GOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" an excited Rock Lee shouted, jumping up from his seat and running god knows where earning weird stares from people nearby and putting a successful end to their secret meeting. Shikamaru followed at a leisurely pace while Choji went in the opposite direction to find their **_target_**.

* * *

"Where did that Shikamaru go?" Ino wondered out loud. The last time she seen him, he was surrounded by girls. She thought it was kind of weird that he would be hanging around any girl other than her, let alone four girls. She didn't know how she felt about it…but it just did not feel _right_. She had planned on walking over to him and asking what it was all about but by that time she headed over there he had already disappeared. At this point she felt kind of lonely. No Sasuke, no Shikamaru, and no Choji. She was feeling so lonely she would even enjoy the company of, oh my god, _Sakura_.

"Ino!" Choji's voice shook her out of her downward spiral of morose thoughts.

"Choji!" she smiled, "Where's Shikamaru?"

"He's around here somewhere." Choji said trying to bite back a mischievous a grin.

Ino was oddly disappointed when Choji said he didn't know where Shikamaru was. "Choji, you want to go eat Korean BBQ with me. My treat," she said enticingly.

Choji started drooling at the thought of Korean BBQ but remembering his true mission he pushed away the image of fresh succulent grilled beef soaked in teriyaki drool…._No, no, no…the mission, remember the mission._ He mustered all his will power to get out what he had to say. "Weren't you looking for Sasuke?"

Ino sighed deeply. "Yeah, but no luck."

"I bet he is over at Team 7's training area. Knowing Sasuke, he's probably training hard like he always does."

"Hey you're right!! Choji you are so smart!!!" she exclaimed throwing her arms around his neck and giving him a peck on the cheek.

Choji blushed. Ino thought that he was red with embarrassment but he was really flushed with guilt.

"I'll treat you next time. Ja ne (See you later)."

"Yeah, see you later." _And good luck_ he added silently as he watched Ino head towards the forest.

* * *

"She's heading this way….get ready." Shikamaru whispered.

Shikamaru and Rock lee hid in the trees behind Team 7's training grounds waiting for Ino to get within range. Lee jumped from the tree landing on the ball of his feet in front of Ino. He pointed his rubber sword at her.

"Come with me or I slit you from head to toe," Lee growled in his deepest voice. "Mwuahhhahahahaha," he added for good measure.

Ino stared at the person in front of her. It looked like Orochimaru…but then it didn't. "Could you hold on a moment?" She stared at him hard. There was _something_ wrong with him but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. Wait a second…since when did Orochimaru have thick eyebrows and…… thick under-lashes? "Rock Lee?"

"I am not that **_ridiculously _**handsome boy, Rock Lee. I don't know what you are talking about….I'm Orochimaru, here to destroy the village and all its inhabitants. It will be your honor to be the first victim." Rock Lee took out his toy snake and started making hissing noises.

Shikamaru sweat dropped watched from the trees and decided not to come out. "How troublesome."

Ino stared at Rock Lee stupefied. "Are you serious?"

"I will destroy you all!!!!" Rock Lee prepared to launched himself towards Ino when suddenly a dark figure tackled him.

"Die Orochimaru!!!" Naruto sneered wrestling the snake from Rock Lee's hands.

"Baka," Ino walked away from the scene, shaking her head disgustedly. _I came all the way here, and all I saw was a couple of idiots rolling on the ground._

When Ino was finally out of sight Shikamaru hopped down from his hiding spot. Grabbing onto Naruto's collar he pulled him off of Rock Lee. "Baka…only you would fall for something as stupid as this."

"Ehhh?" Naruto was completely confused.

Rock Lee looked up at Naruto disgusted. "You ruined my magnificent plan. I had Ino scared to death. Now Shikamaru can't save Ino and become a hero. Operation: Damsel in distress is a failure."

"Oh…I wasn't fooled for a second. I knew it was you all along. Heheheheheh," Naruto laughed nervously scratching the back of his head.

"That's it for me," Shikamaru muttered under his breath.

"You can't stop here," Rock Lee exclaimed, "If you do, than Sasuke wins."

"Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, "What does this have to do with Sasuke?"

"That stupid Sasuke has stolen all our women and we're going to help Shikamaru get his back." Lee explained.

Naruto nodded wisely, "mmmmmm…yes, that is true. That Sasuke has way too many women…luckily my _Hinata_ is not fooled by his charms…but I know how you can get Ino back from Sasuke."

"How troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled. "Why should I take advice from you?"

"I have a girlfriend don't I?" the blonde boy smirked.

"He has a good point there," Rock Lee pointed out.

"Alright…What's the plan now?" Shikamaru sighed already regretting going along with Naruto's plan.

"If you want Ino to take notice of you have to make your rival look bad. You have to pretend to be Sasuke and do things that would gross Ino out." Naruto grinned wickedly. "Commence Operation: Mr. **_Nasty_**."

* * *

Ino was alone again. She spent the whole night looking for Sasuke but she hasn't seen any trace of him today. It was the Lunar festival, and she was supposed to have fun but looking at the laughing people around her, she seemed to be the only one not enjoying herself. _I'm supposed to be having fun._ _Why shouldn't I enjoy myself?_ Spotting a puppet show starting to her left she headed towards it. She was half-way there when someone bumped into her shoulder.

"Hey watch it." Ino looked up into dark eyes. "Sasuke."

"Yo, Ino," Shikamaru groaned inwardly. _Why am I doing this?_ __

Crouching low behind the trash cans next to the puppet stand Naruto leaned towards Rock Lee. "She took the bait. Hook, line, and sinker. This plan is definitely going to work. It's all up to Shikamaru now."

For some reason that she couldn't quite figure out, there was something different about Sasuke. She stared hard at him but he looked pretty much the same. Same black hair, same brooding looks, so what the heck was bothering her. She's just thinking too much about it. She shook off the thought. "Sasuke-kun, you want to go watch the puppet show with me. I think its 'Mulan'."

Taking Shikamaru's (posing as Sasuke) hand Ino pulled him towards the puppet stand, stopping just behind all the children in the front row. Wrapping her arms around Shikamaru's left arm she snuggled closer. Shikamaru started blushing but then he remembered that he was supposed to be Sasuke right now. While she was snuggling up to him she was really trying to get closer to **_Sasuke_**. That thought reminded him of his true goal…to make Sasuke look bad. _Time to execute the plan_.

"Ino, could you move your arm?" With his left arm, he reached behind him and started scratching between his crack. _I can't believe I'm doing this_. Ino hadn't released his arm yet so as he scratched she was pulled along. He scratched even more vigorously knocking Ino off balance.

"What are you doing on the ground, Ino?"

"Nothing, just a little shaken up," _from your ass scratching_ thought Ino. Really, Sasuke was acting peculiar today.

Dang, Ino seemed unfazed by his butt picking. It was time to step it up a notch. Shikamaru let out a sneeze. Ino reached into her pocket and pulled out a tissue handing it over to Shikamaru. "Here you go Sasuke- kun."

"No need, Ino," he said. Pressing a finger to his right nostril he shot a snot torpedo out of his left barrel towards the trash cans.

naruto, rocklee

"Ewwwwwwwwwww……It got you Lee," Naruto exclaimed pointing to the liquid dropping on Rock Lee's left shoulder.

"It's alright…..it matches my body suit. Like an accessory," Lee replied admiring the newly acquired fashion piece.

"Whatever…" Naruto said, gagging, "That definitely has to gross her out now."

end of naruto, rocklee

Ino's jaw dropped as she watched Sasuke's mucous shoot towards the trash cans. Something definitely strange is going on. In all her life she has never seen Sasuke do something so gross. Now that she saw it…it was a really disturbing sight. But before she could analyze it any further she heard an even more disturbing voice.

"Saaassuuuuuuukkeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!" A certain pink haired girl was running towards them.

Grabbing Shikamaru's other arm, Sakura glared over at Ino. "What are you doing with my Sasuke, Ino-pig!"

"Who do you think you're talking to, Big Forehead!"

Shikamaru sighed inwardly. _Time to abort the plan. Two girls are too hard to deal with._ Fighting his way out of their grasps he slipped away while the two girls were busy yelling their heads off. Changing back into his original form, he crawled to where he knew Naruto and Rock Lee were hiding.

"Mission has been aborted….Time to clear out you guys." Shikamaru whispered.

Rock Lee and Naruto seemed crestfallen.

"The plan was going so well," Naruto argued.

"Three failures in one day are enough for me. It's getting late, I'm going to head on out. See ya," Shikamaru said as he strolled away.

"That is one miserable guy," Rock Lee said shaking his head sadly as he watched Shikamaru's retreating form.

"Yeah, but we did all we could to help him. By the way, you want to get some Ramen?"

"Sure. I've been meaning to ask you though; aren't you supposed to be out with Hinata tonight since it's the moon festival?"

"Nahhh….She's still mad at me after I got her a skunk for her birthday. Her room still stinks to high heaven. Personally I thought it was really cute. Enough talk, let's get Ramen."

* * *

Shikamaru was sitting beneath the stars watching the glow of the moon in his usual grassy area in the park. Tonight, he exerted more effort than he does in a Class A mission. Exhausted, he wondered why the mission he had set out to do failed. It was probably because he took advice from three of the most unlikely sources. He sighed and sunk deeper into the grass. Fate had a way with playing with people's emotions and he was no exception.

"Shikamaru, I thought I would find you here," Ino said as she settled herself down next to him.

_But then fate had a way of telling you to just let things_ _be_, Shikamaru thought with a slight smile.

Ino didn't stop babbling. "….and then Rock Lee……"

Shikamaru reached out for her hand and Ino stopped instantly, looking at their clasped hands.

Ino blushed, _there was definitely something weird going on tonight….but this is nice_.

The light of the full moon shone brightly on the couple as the music of the festivities wafted down to them from the streets of Konoha. On this night full of magic, children frolic, friends laugh, and a new love begins.__

** A/N: So how do you like it.....Rock lee is hilarious....one of my favorite characters...I even have the same haircut....kind of looks weird on a girl though...anyways please R&R. Awwwww....Shika and Ino are sooooo cute.**


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